


Pain Is Healing

by lijjja



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BDSM, Beating, Bondage and Discipline, Degradation, Dom/sub, Dominant Erwin Smith, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy BDSM, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Married Couple, Masochism, Power Play, Safe Sane and Consensual, Spanking, Submissive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sweetness, Verbal Humiliation, a lot of tears, all that good stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24064990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lijjja/pseuds/lijjja
Summary: Levi is hurting, and Erwin has just the remedy to help his husband.
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 8
Kudos: 178





	Pain Is Healing

**Author's Note:**

> Hurt/Comfort is my favorite genre, I had to contribute. 
> 
> TW for brief mention of childhood trauma and dealing with reocurring memories. Otherwise, enjoy!
> 
> Edit: Holy fuck thank you for the kudos everyone! I'm ecstatic that you liked it enough to leave some, it definitely helps my piss-poor motivation. Thank you! ❤️

Levi was never one to avoid speaking his mind. He was always straightforward, blunt even. A little too blunt for some, but never for his husband, Erwin - who finds Levi's honesty a blessing, rather than a curse. _Communication is key in any relationship_ Erwin always says, let alone something as sacred as marriage. Though, when it comes to the bad and ugly that hides deep down inside him, eating away at his heart, Levi's only response is flight. Opening up was never easy for him, nor did he practice it all that much, except with a few select people. Over the years he's managed to build walls so dense, no one could tear them down. No one but Erwin.

The first time they met Levi pretty much despised the man. He had the nerve to ask for the head chef - himself - to step out in a full house, just so he could personally compliment him on his well seared brisket. Levi nearly ripped his head off with the tongs in his hand because he had four other meals preparing on the stove. The audacity, him with his contagious smile and cheerful personality. _It's such an obvious facade!_ Levi used to think.

However, as time went by, they grew closer and closer together. Erwin would stop by every other day, mostly ordering takeout for himself. In exchange, Levi got a chance to poke fun at him as he made sure to hand the meals to Erwin himself, which he would happily accept with that stupid grin on his face. And, as their bond escalated, Levi soon found out that yes, it was in fact a facade.

He also carried a chain around his heart, much like Levi did. Different, yet still the same. Because trauma is trauma, after all. But Erwin's true personality always stayed the same, it just got more real as they progressed. Levi still loves to describe it with the same noun he always has.

Cinnamon.

Erwin is sweet, caring, supportive, romantic, understanding, honest, generous, kind, thoughtful and loving.

But also _cruel, ruthless, demanding, powerful, unforgiving, cold_ and _vicious_ when Levi needs him to be.

Their play isn't solely based on pleasure, even if they both get a kick out of their roles. Erwin has become Levi's backbone in a way, when he feels that familiar, restless ache inside his core. The kind that needs to be beaten out of him until he is a pathetic, sobbing mess. Only then can he truly feel it leave his body, so he can crawl back into Erwin's arms and pour his little heart out.

Erwin understood Levi, even though he hadn't gone through what his lover has. BDSM play allowed them both to undress and expose their pain, and use it to heal.

Plus, they're both into kinky shit.

Even now, after three fulfilling years of marriage Levi still struggles to call his partner for help - his fingers fumbling with the smartphone in his hands, stuck on the man's number in his contact list, spending his day off in mind-numbing worry. He knows Erwin won't judge or dismiss him, hell, he'll drop everything he's doing just to be by Levi's side when he's in need. He's done that before. But still, that nagging voice in the back of his head telling him _you're a burden, you're too needy_ can't seem to subside after all these years. Especially now when another overwhelming episode is trying to consume him.

This week has been hell so far. He keeps fucking up orders, even the smaller ones, and his temper has been shorter than usual. All because of reoccurring memories from his past. But, the mistakes Levi regrets the most were of two specific tables, where high-profile, snobby schmucks were seated. The types that like to order desserts decorated with gold flakes, so they could feel more rich and "sophisticated", Levi rolled his eyes.

One guy ordered a hanger steak with a side of vegetables, which is the equivalent of crossing a rib-eye steak with beef tenderloin. Only much easier to prepare and twice the beef flavor, and Levi still managed to fuck it up. The side of the steak got burnt from him trying to sear it fast enough, while the vegetables turned out soggy and too oily.

His other fuck up was an order of parmesan risotto with roasted shrimp. While it does take some skill to prepare good risotto, it's not fucking rocket science. Yet, he took it off the stove before it was even al dente. Levi can't blame the poor woman for returning the crunchy disaster of a dish, which he later found out was also too salty.

Sure, those might not be fatal mistakes like mixing eggs with raw meat or serving fish that's gone bad, but for someone with Levi's knowledge and experience it was pretty fucking embarrassing. Yet, none of his colleagues judged him, despite him being a nightmare to work with.

Levi paid for both their meals and even threw their bottle of wine on his receipt, which cost him a cool $210. Of course he didn't care about their views and opinions of him but, he couldn't let the business suffer because of his dumb mistakes. Just sitting and listening to these thoughts pity him made Levi want to punch a hole in the wall. He had to process this and get it out of his system. Fast.

With a deep, almost whiny sigh, Levi pressed call and bit his finger in agitation. He can't hide shit from Erwin, even if he wanted to. That man knew him like the back of his hand - which was sometimes irritating, but always made him feel safe.

"Afternoon, darling." He heard Erwin chime in his usual gentle, honey-sweet tone, one that made Levi's abdomen twist in a pleasant way. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" Erwin followed up while typing away at his keyboard at what sounded like lightning speed.

"Hey... You sound busy, should I call later?" He bit his lip next.

"Not at all, Levi. I'm just finishing up, I'll be home in half an hour or so. What's up?"

Erwin's line of work was all but anxiety-inducing as Levi's was. He worked as an archivist. In other words; processing, cataloging and preserving permanent records and historically valuable documents in one of the city's museums. While some thought it was exciting, others found it incredibly boring. Nevertheless, it was where he wanted to be. As Erwin once explained, he loves his profession due to the peace and quiet it offers. He yearned for harmony for once in his life, which Levi found respectable and could relate.

"I -uh..." He swallowed, trying to make himself sound less restless than he really was, but failed. Levi sighed. "We need to talk when you come home, after lunch, of course. I'm making some spaghetti and meatballs, hope that's not too shitty for a Friday lunch." He chuckled, even if it hurt just to smile. Erwin probably read him like a book.

And in fact he did but, contributing to the tension with his worrying wouldn't help anyone. So, Erwin managed to scoff and play it off. "Trust me, Levi, you could pull food out of the dumpster, plate it, serve it to me and I'd still be amazed."

Levi's expression twisted into a grimace. " _God_ , Erwin. That's fucking disgusting... Are you trying to make me gag?" That one caught him off guard, but in the most pleasant way because it resulted in both men sharing a good laugh. One that made Levi's head feel dizzy.

"Sorry, dove. It worked though, made you laugh." Erwin couldn't help but chuckle at his own achievement. "I'm starving, anything you make is well appreciated, even though you're supposed to be relaxing on your day off." He tutted lightheartedly, "And of course, I'll make us some tea and we can sit down and talk. How does that sound?"

"Yeah... That sounds perfect, Erwin." Levi sighed, the fact that his partner insisted on drinking tea with him made him smile - they both knew he preferred coffee. Somehow, Erwin always knew what to say to put him at ease, even now when all he wanted was to jump out of his own skin, how restless his bones felt.

"Well, don't let me keep you, then. Hurry up and come eat, I'll try to keep the damn meatballs fresh for you." Levi grumbled.

"You shouldn't trouble yourself, thank you, baby. I'll see you then, love you."

"Love you too, Erwin. Bye..."

After Levi hung up, he made his way over to their spacious kitchen where the pot of pasta and meat was still simmering on a low heat, he already set the table for the two of them. Now, with little to nothing to do, Levi could feel the heaviness of what's to come slowly creeping in. He almost wished it wouldn't happen, that he could rewind time and never actually call Erwin for help. That he could just ignore it until it eventually subsides. But, he couldn't. He wouldn't. Levi needed to feel leather crack against his body as Erwin slowly pried him open, hit by hit, until all he could cry about was the burning of his skin. Until he was completely turned inside out.

Levi loved that about his husband. How he dominated and controlled him in their play, to which Erwin got nothing but respect and complete submission from Levi. That man could control his emotions better than he could himself.

Levi trusted Erwin with his life. That's more than he could say about anyone else.

* * *

As promised, Erwin soon arrived and was greeted with the pleasant scent of homemade lunch, courtesy of his talanted husband. An act of kindness that never failed to put a smile on his face. That's what kind of man Levi was, selfless. Then, the chef himself popped into view as Erwin kicked off his shoes.

"Hey, you." He hummed in endearment, a saying that Levi liked to describe as Erwin's catchphrase because of how often it got thrown around.

"Hey to you, too." Levi offered with a light smile once he finally reached Erwin, placing a hand on the man's still jacketed bicep. While their hello and goodbye kisses have turned into a routine, they never lacked that special flare that most couples seemed to lose over time.

"How was work?"

Their casual conversation kicked off as the two men moved into the kitchen. Erwin noticed how shiny and dustless almost every surface was, including their tile floor. Levi was a compulsive cleaner, even more so when under stress. This came into light after they decided to move in, when Erwin awoke one night to find the spot beside him empty. Levi was in the bathroom, scrubbing every surface he could reach with his eyes red and puffy from crying. From that point on, Erwin never allowed himself to dismiss Levi's needs, much like the latter didn't dismiss his own.

Even now, when he noticed the way Levi picked at his food, rarely swallowing an actual bite. It wasn't far from usual, Levi ate like a bird for the most part, but it was noticeable and worrying. Confrontation wasn't his strong suite, but Erwin had other ways of non-verbal conversation.

So, when Levi saw the man move to sit directly next to him, his heart swelled with warmth. Erwin made him feel safe and comfortable, allowing him to slowly let those layered walls crumble. He had that kind of presence to him.

* * *

Lunch went better than expected.

Levi managed to finish his plate with the help of Erwin's encouragement, who was now busy preparing some green tea for them while he took care of the dishes.

The hot water pouring over his hands strangely relaxed Levi, his nerves were pretty much at their wit's end. He hated getting emotional, now that he felt tears biting at the corners of his eyes, threatening to seep out. It was out of reflex, Levi learned by now. He only ever cried out of anger rather than pain, unless it was an ocassion like this - when he did both.

But, crying in front of each other wasn't embarrassing anymore, it was cathartic. While Erwin rarely ever cried, Levi remembers the few times his husband did allow him to see that side of him, which still tugs at his heartstrings. The man might have nerves of steel and an undecipherable poker face but, he is still human, after all. One that went through many hardships in his early life that have shaped him into the man he is today. Something Levi has learned to treasure and love about his partner, who snapped him back into reality with a gentle call of his name and a kiss to the side of his head.

"Tea's ready." Erwin offered with a smile.

Levi felt a surge of emotions wash over him at that moment, he knew it was high time to drop the act.

"Great, thanks. Let me just dry my hands."

Erwin nodded. "We're in no hurry, take your time. I'll be in the living room." And with that, he walked back to where he came from after leaving yet another kiss, this time on his cheek.

Gentleness was and always will be Levi's breaking point, much like now when he felt those pent up tears slide down his cheeks - despite him trying to hold them in for as long as possible. " _Fuck_." He sighed angrily, debating if he should slam his fist against the metallic sink or not.

He didn't. It was pointless and would just make Erwin worry more. Instead, Levi dried his hands as he intended to and wiped the pesky tears away with a paper towel. _Compose yourself, Levi Smith_ he thought with a shook of his head as he walked over to their living room.

Tea was just what he needed right now, much like a fussy child needs a nap. Plus, seeing Erwin sitting, waiting for him to come and vomit his feelings onto him... it felt safe. Without a word, Levi sat down beside his husband and turned his attention to the cup of tea awaiting him, poured into one of his most beloved fine china. He sweetened the steaming brew with some honey and took a cautious sip, followed by an exale.

"Thanks for making tea, Erwin. It helps." Levi said without a need to explain himself further. Erwin knew, and smiled.

"The least I could do." He added before taking a sip from his own cup, hesitating just a little. Levi wasn't aggressive or explosive by any means, but Erwin still persisted to treat lightly, as he knew how hard it was to "come clean" about having troubling thoughts such as his lover did now. "What's been bothering you, sweetheart?" The man asked gently.

There is was, the green light Levi needed.

He huffed out a small laugh like he always did at inappropriate times, his finger toying with the cup's handle, contemplating his answer. "I feel so fucking stupid for always dragging you into this..." Levi spoke while scratching the side of his neck impulsively. "I'm a grown ass man for fuck's sake..." The raven sighed heavily, all while Erwin listened to him with nothing but patience and acceptance. It never got easier watching your partner in pain.

"I fucked up so many things this week, I'd rather tell you what I _didn't_ fuck up... From dishes to storage orders, to yelling at the others like a damn maniac... All because of..." Levi bit his lip painfully, finally feeling comfortable with letting those stocked up tears go. "You know..." He mumbled, hands coming up to rub his eyes, later cover them. Memories of losing his mother, living on the streets in crippling poverty with absolutely no one to turn to, all the times he had to fight his way through just to survive... Remembering those times shook him to the core, now that he felt like he was reliving them. A panic-induced episode that came and went every few months or so - one he's been "hiding" for a week now. Levi often feared losing what he has now, losing the safety of what they've built for themselves. Losing Erwin.

"I feel so selfish-" He muttered, voice a few octaves higher, breathing short and quick. "-always running to you for help... Like I'm some defenseless child again..."

Before he could vent further, Levi heard Erwin call as two strong arms offered to envelope him. "Come here." Erwin whispered, bringing Levi in against his chest while a hand held the back of his head. "It's okay, baby. It's okay.. Let it out, it's okay..." He assured and felt Levi respond by wrapping his own arms around his neck, drowning out a sob into the man's shoulder. He could feel Levi shaking with every cry that left him, an action that made Erwin only hold him tighter.

"Shh, shh... It's okay." Erwin cooed, he completely understood Levi and why he felt the way he did. Hell, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel like that sometimes too, when his own mind deceived him into thinking he was worthless.

"Oh, Levi... baby. I'm your husband. I will always be here for you, all of you, you know that." Erwin added, to which he felt Levi shift even closer against him, sniffling. "I know, I know..." Erwin rubbed the man's back, "Everything will be alright, I'm here. We'll take care of this."

" _Please_..." Levi sighed deeply. Needily. His lungs aching.

"I will, baby, I will... First I need you to calm down, okay? C'mere..." Erwin shifted, pulling Levi on top of himself as he leaned back into the sofa. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, we all fuck up constantly. What's important is that we learn from those mistakes, I know you know that already, because I've seen you pick yourself up hundreds of times by now. On your own." He explained gently, the only way he knew how.

They sat like that for a few minutes, with Erwin telling him how much he meant to him and the people around him, that none of them ever judged him for what he's been through or how those events shaped him. Essentially, that he didn't have to run and hide anymore.

And Levi listened. His breathing calmed while his brain was focused on processing Erwin's words, digesting them with the help of that soothing voice of his. A few more tears trickled down his cheeks once he finally decided to raise his head, brows furrowed and a pitiful redness to his face. After the initial crescendo of his breakdown, Levi was often left feeling numb, even if those silver, rainy orbs claimed otherwise. His emotions were a messy bunch that needed untying. He sighed, turning to pluck a tissue from the cardboard box behind him.

"Bullshit. All I ever do is shove things deeper down my throat and just ignore them." Levi protested before blowing his nose. "And we both know how well that works out." He added bitterly with a fistful of sarcasm.

It was Erwin's turn to sigh now. While Levi's stubbornness was hard to deal with sometimes, he was glad that his husband had calmed down. His hands rose to cup Levi's cheeks, wiping away the few, fresh tears underneath his eyes in a reposeful way. "Fair, but... If that were true we wouldn't be here now, like this." Erwin smiled softly as he leaned down to press a kiss against Levi's forehead, fingers caressing the back of his neck. "You came to me when you felt ready, Levi. Processing difficult thoughts isn't a matter of time, but a matter of how ready we are to face those thoughts, with or without a partner. And I couldn't be happier to be here for you, to love and support you through anything. That's what I vowed to when we got married, and I mean what I say." That's true, Erwin did always mean what he said, even if it was something insignificant.

Levi felt blessed to have such a man by his side, so much so that he felt new tears well up in his eyes, only this time they weren't out of pain or worry. He smiled.

"Fuck... Don't get sappy on me now." Levi chuckled softly, leaning his head against the two hands that supported it. No matter how agitated, sad or angry he got, Erwin never failed to counteract those feelings and effectively calm him down. And that damn smile he now had on his face... It made Levi feel better. Embarrassed for being so dramatic, but better.

"Come here." Erwin called in a whisper. Levi obliged happily and leaned in to share a slow kiss with his husband, one he yearned for all morning. He was still itching for a scene, but, before he had a chance to voice his request Erwin cut him off.

"Your tea's getting cold." He stated, reaching over to grab each of their cups. "What do you say we finish these and you go shower, while I take care of the rest?"

Levi nodded and took the cup handed to him, it was still warm enough to enjoy. "I swear, reading my mind like that is really fucking creepy sometimes, Erwin." He teased, eliciting a pleasant laugh from Erwin.

* * *

Once Levi was done grooming, he left the now-steamy bathroom and made his way toward their shared bedroom, not bothering to dress in more than the loose robe he wrapped around himself. Anticipation was eating away at his nerves, which made Levi feel giddy in a strange, twisted way.

They've done these types of scenes so many times by now.

Erwin would prepare the bedroom, display their toys for Levi to choose, get creative with the position he wanted his husband in and essentially, set up the scene. They both knew what the other loved, and Erwin knew just how to help Levi release all that pent up stress.

Upon entering the room, Levi picked up on the drastic change in atmosphere, one that prickled his skin with goosebumps. The lights were dimmed, curtains drawn and the bed was decorated with various tools of impact and rope. There was a padded chair just by the bedside, which intrigued Levi. Erwin hadn't changed much, he switched his old dress shirt for a fresh, light blue one. However, his feet weren't covered with house slippers anymore. He wore a pair of black Scarosso oxfords, ones Levi gifted him for his 34th birthday. Ones he's cummed on countless times by now.

"Darling." He heard Erwin call, snapping him back to reality for the second time today.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, smiling as Levi approached and placed a hand to his side, his own rising to cradle the raven's face.

"Good, I'm just on edge. What's with the chair?" Levi asked innocently, lulled by the man's gentleness.

"That, precious, is where I want to tie you up. Unless you had something else in mind?"

Levi shook his head almost immediately, watching Erwin's smile warm up.

"Alright." He exaled fondly. "Anything else you'd like to do before we start?" His fingers ran through those jet black locks, tucking in each one that was out of place.

"Yeah... Just kiss." Levi stated boldly. This kind of intimacy was hard to handle without kissing Erwin, something he's waited to do ever since he woke up. So, he rose to the tips of his toes and connected their lips into a deep kiss, feeling how an arm wrapped around his waist. Levi didn't wait long until he pried those soft lips open with his tongue, the taste of mint infiltrating his taste buds. Erwin obliged, pulled his husband closer, tightening his grip on the back of Levi's neck while skilled teeth pulled on his lower lip. Neither of them needed words to know that playtime had started.

Levi whimpered in surprise as his dom yanked him from their kiss. The sensation of having a hand tight around his neck, no matter the back or the front made his skin crawl in the most pleasant way. He was aching for a beating.

"Safe word." Erwin demanded.

"Cinnamon."

"Light?"

" _Green_."

"Good boy." Erwin smirked at the desperation in Levi's voice, "Now, strip and go sit, face the back." he released his sub's neck, enjoying the way his pupils dilated.

Levi didn't need any more instructing. He stripped himself of his robe, hurried to hang it by the door and got into position, all while Erwin unraveled one of their favorite pairs of ropes as he approached him. A stunning, deep red, jute rope that left the prettiest marks and caused enough friction to make Levi's head spin. He kept his gaze down though, as he was supposed to, not daring to test the man's patience.

Erwin was quiet as he manhandled his partner into position. He tied Levi's wrists to his legs, thick and tight just under his knees, then looped the assembled threads under the chair, over his lower back and thighs, before fastening their hold by a single thread that hugged his stomach. This position allowed Levi's back and ass to be fully exposed, just as intended. And even though his jaw was weighed down to the chair's backrest, his groin stirred in arousal. It was a fairly quick and easy tie, but Erwin purposefully prolonged it, dragging his fingers over Levi's bare skin as he did, which caused him to shiver embarrassingly.

"I wish you could see how pretty you look," Erwin purred. He let his hand travel along Levi's thigh, over the length of his ticklish side, until it wound up forcefully fisting the luscious, black strands on top of his head, earning himself a pained gasp from Levi. "so spread and exposed for me, like the true pain-slut you are." He spat. "Tell me, what would my slut like to be beaten with tonight?" His dom crooned.

Levi struggled against his restraints, toes curling from the pain in his scalp. He already chose the toys he wanted without having to look again but, it took him a moment to figure out how to use his tongue after swallowing.

"Flog-... flogger, crop and wooden paddle." He answered with a rasp in his voice, whimpering as the man released him non-too-gently.

Amused, Erwin fetched the first toy, the flogger. Heavy and medium in length, it was made of pure leather. Perfect for making Levi scream, who now twitched as he felt those cool tails sweep over his back.

"You know, I thought about going easy on you tonight, but..." Erwin stopped to twist the flogger around as one would a wet towel, eyeing his target. "You're just too beautiful when you cry." Swiftly, he released the tails onto Levi's skin, just underneath his right shoulder, and repeated the action on his other side. Levi groaned.

"And I'll give you something to cry about." He heard Erwin say before the man rained down with the scourge. Light at first, then harder as Levi adjusted. He swung the leather across his upper back without pause, alternating between each side. His tolerance of pain was always high but, soon enough, not a single thwack went by without him crying out. As the skin got more and more sensitive, each hit felt like an army of fire ants nipping at his back. No matter how much he kicked or protested, this was therapy.

Then, Erwin did as before and twisted the tails, only to snap them harshly against the side where his thigh and ass met, letting them wrap a little. Levi jumped.

" _Fuck_!"

It stung like a bitch, and Erwin smiled. He repeated the cruel act on Levi's other side, causing him to shake and yell.

"Fucking! _Gah_ -god!"

He whined once the initial stinging spread around the area, happy that his dom gave him a moment to process. Despite how much it hurt, Levi's dick still hardened.

Erwin enjoyed the view as he resumed his technique, swatting each cheek lightly for a thorough warm-up. "Look at you, so needy. Like a bitch in heat." Levi whimpered at that, how filthy it sounded, twitching once he felt a hand rub the forming welts on his back.

Two blows to each cheek that made both him and the chair rattle as he fought against his bound limbs, whilst all he mustered was a cracked cry. Erwin allowed the tails to wrap so they reached his sit spots as well, and it fucking hurt. So much that Levi felt fresh tears stinging the corners of his eyes. Then, without warning came another row, alternating from his ass to his back, mild to intense. And Levi relished in the way it burned. Despite what persistent tears proved, he loved being put in his place by Erwin's ruthlessness, even if he did nothing to upset the man. He yearned to be controlled and slapped around by his husband who cherished him dearly, it made all the times he experienced pain feel like nothing compared to this. Because this pain was fueled by selfless, remorseless love.

There was a moment of stillness once Erwin was satisfied. The only sound breaching the room's silence was that of Levi's sniffling as he reached the first stage of crying. Not quite sobbing yet, but still audible enough to please his dom.

Erwin walked over to the bed, ready to shift to the second toy. A riding crop.

Levi knew what was coming. Not solely because he turned his head to look, but because he identified the crop in mention. It lacked the thin strap of leather and instead had a rounded, paddle-shaped head. It was firm and merciless when in Erwin's hands. Surely, this one was going to sting more than the flogger.

He watched as Erwin walked back, this time stopping in front of him. His husband smiled and coaxed Levi's chin up to meet his gaze, icy as ever. He felt a familiar fear settle in his chest, one that pumped pure arousal into his aching cock, which sprung at the mere, gentle touch.

"Already this teary-eyed just from a little flogging? Maybe I should reconsider the beating I planned for you. Hm, my darling?" Erwin mused.

Levi succumbed as he felt the man cup and caress his cheek. He leaned into the warmth of Erwin's palm and shook his head, as dosile as anyone would hope to see him. "No, Erwin..."

"No Erwin _what_?" He bit back harshly.

Levi swallowed, "No, Erwin, please... beat me as you planned." he added with a softer tone.

Erwin smirked at that, hand shifting to his sub's jaw before he tightened it's grip, pleased. "I expected nothing less from a horny, little mutt." He crooned whilst circling and tapping the crop flat against Levi's bright red, welted back; savoring the smallest of whines that left him. Even from this angle, Erwin could see how his partner's manhood throbbed as he tapped over his flared-up body.

Levi had no other option but to squirm and watch as Erwin's eyes turned dark with glint. The man loved to keep their eyes locked while he tortured him, so he could enjoy himself in the pathetic performance displayed in front of him. And Levi knew just how pathetic he looked now, when his eyes were starting to tear up again. Because Erwin was teasing him, making him try and rub his cock against the chair's padding, because each tap of leather shot straight to his groin, making him beg and beg, and beg for mercy. But, to no avail. Because his dom knew just how to push him to ecstasy. Next thing he knew, the long instrument came down hard onto his reddened cheek, eliciting a high-pitched cry from his throat.

Oh, how good it felt.

Erwin held him strong by his jaw as he started the brutal, unpredictable pace. He whacked the flat crop wherever he wished to - from abusing his sore back and ass, to smacking it against his thighs, meaty upper arms and even dared to slap each of his soles, which felt like he had just stood on lava. Each cruel smack drew what sounded like a mix between a moan and a scream from Levi, who took the short beating like a true champ, only a few tears soaking Erwin's palm and fingers. The intensity, the stinging just after impact, and the startling sensation of not knowing where the next hit was going to be is what got his heart racing the most, now as he softly wept into the man's hand cradling his face.

And he _adored_ it - the attention he was receiving from his sadistic husband. It pushed Levi to struggle against his immobilized form, trying to inch himself closer to Erwin as he felt the highlight of their play dawn on him.

"Erwin _please, come on_ " He demanded, half mumbling half moaning indirectly for his owner to hurry up - which earned him a violent blow that rippled through his body like an electric shock, a sharp gasp echoed the room. Then, he wailed when Erwin dragged his head up by his hair, feeling how a few strands came out as he did. It was so so painful; Levi's whole body was buzzing with adrenaline by now, pumping blood into his cock that was an angry shade of red and his weeping now turned into pathetic, little pants as he stared into Erwin's ocean blues, shivering. He fucked up.

"How _dare you_ use that fucking tone with me, you mindless whore?" The man growled, startling Levi. He was a mindless whore, allowing himself to demand anything from his dom like that - disrespecting him like that without thinking, because he wanted to get off on Erwin beating his sorry ass into a bloddy pulp.

"I-I'm sorry, Erwin... I-I -Ah!" Levi tried to find words to justify his disobedient behavior, but failed as Erwin brought the crop down painfully onto his already reddened thigh, making him jump from the way it bit at his skin.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry Erwin" He repeated, mocking Levi's stuttering. "What are you, a snotty, little child? Can't make a full sentence without pissing yourself?" Erwin spat, causing the younger man's abdomen to stir wantonly. He loved to be degraded by Erwin. "Maybe I should punish you like one, then." he released Levi's hair before walking over to the bed, where their final toy of the night lay. A beautiful, handmade hardwood paddle that Erwin purchased for an insane amount of money, just so he could whack Levi's perky, little ass into shape. Just remembering the first time they tried it out filled him with a warm, fuzzy feeling, along with arousal. Erwin always showered him with the most wonderful of gifts.

"I'd order you to count, but I know that's too much for a brainless bimbo like you to handle." The man added as he took his position beside Levi, placing a hand on the chair's backrest just beside his face. Slowly, he leaned down until Levi felt how his lips were brushing against his ear, hot air tickling his senses while a visible shiver ran down his spine. "You should see how pathetic you look; waiting to be spanked just so your pussy can get wet. Can't get off without me hurting you, can you, bitch?" He whimpered when Erwin licked a stripe across the entirity of his ear, swallowing a moan as his hips rolled against the seat out of reflex, putting wonderful pressure onto his swollen cock.

It drew out the most pleasant yet cruel laugh from the man beside him, causing Levi to shiver some more. His head was getting incredibly hazy. The only restlessness he felt now was that of his inability to cum, his whole groin aching with desire - which his dom noticed. He knew, that bastard knew how much he needed it, but he didn't care.

"Pa-the-tic." Erwin hummed coldly before delivering the first blow. The paddle was long enough to cover both of Levi's cheeks, making it extremely hard to focus on anything but the infiltrating heat he felt build up on his ass, along with a deep pain. The first few whacks were difficult enough, but when Erwin added one after another without pause, increasing the power behind his swing, all Levi could do was shout and beg. No matter how much he fought, struggled or contorted, he couldn't get away from it - or Erwin's wrath that came with the wooden instrument. And Levi fell apart.

" _Pleaseerwinithurtssomuch_ " He cried out in one breath. But, Erwin didn't care. He deserved this by being an impatient, spoiled, little brat. He asked for it.

Erwin didn't bother to respond. Instead, he resumed the merciless pace, now switching from left to right cheek, until his sub started spewing a row of _I'm sorrys_ that joined the loud smacking echoing their room. Levi knew he could make this all stop momentarily with just one word. The excruciating pain of impact would be gone, he would be freed from his immobilized state and his husband would take care of him and all his abused areas. But he didn't want to. He needed this pain, because pain was a form of healing for him.

So, Levi endured the remaining whacks the only way he knew how, by sobbing and kicking. They weren't nearly as harsh as when Erwin started, but they were still fucking unbearable, even if he leveled them down to just a thwack. A side of him felt embarrassed by the way he was acting, how painfully hard he got from being betean and humiliated like this - like a freak, even though he was bawling his eyes out. But, his other side was relieved. He felt like himself again, now that the uneasiness of his breakdown was replaced by bitter-sweet pain and pleasure.

The last smack drew an obnoxious whine from Levi's throat as it was applied over his whole ass, which felt like adding gasoline to an open fire. He knew it was over when Erwin placed a tender hand onto the back of his neck, petting the sweaty skin underneath his short hair. It allowed the younger man to finally relax against the chair and continue sobbing like a punished child. Levi savored this feeling, along with the gentleness of his partner. This gave him opportunity to express pain he otherwise couldn't.

"My beautiful boy, you did so well for me..." Erwin crooned tenderly. There was a total shift in demeanor; his crude and vicious dom was gone, replaced by a caring, nurturing one, much like his husband. Levi felt the man untie his bound limbs, all while saying the softest of things - _hush, I'm here sweetheart, darling, my good boy, I'll take care of you_... It only stifled his cries for so long, until he was able to fully move and wrap his tired arms around Erwin's neck, drowning another sob into the man's neck.

"Oh, dove..." Erwin smiled at Levi's neediness, shushing him by kissing along the length of his shoulder. Carefully, he helped his sub stand up and led him to their shared bed, over to the side not occupied by various toys. There is no good way to cradle and comfort someone whose whole back side was flared up; so the pair improvised by having Erwin sit against the bed post, Levi then laid on his stomach and crawled to embrace the man's waist - so he could use his lap as a shoulder to cry on, while Erwin soothed him by petting his hair. The position provided as much relief to his abused skin as it could, however, chafing his smarting thighs against the bedding.

He didn't complain, though. Levi treasured silent moments like these where he felt comfortable enough to be himself, even if he was disgusted by how snotty he'd gotten from crying, or how painfully his ass burned. None of that mattered now that he was closer to Erwin on more levels than just physical, who hadn't stopped praising him for being such a _good boy_.

Levi felt harmonious. The pressure of his past lessened it's grip once again.

His fit stilled completely after just a few minutes, leaving him a gross, sticky mess. Levi never cried for too long, despite how much pain he was in. Thankfully, there were tissues prepared on the nightstand, as well as desifectant ones and some cooling cream.

"That's enough for today," Erwin declared once Levi finished cleaning his face, now reassured that his partner had calmed. His warmth knew no limits, Levi thought as the man cupped his rosy cheeks, only to bring him up for a kiss on the forehead. "Are you okay, honey?" Erwin added with genuine concern, causing him to snort softly.

"Besides the sting - I'm fine, don't worry." Levi said with a smile, then hoisted himself up to steal a quick yet savory kiss from Erwin, both men humming in result.

"Let me take care of it then, how does that sound?"

Levi was about to lay back down and answer when his husband reconnected their lips. One kiss couldn't possibly be enough after such an intense scene, he had to agree - so he indulged in Erwin's tenderness and talented tongue, desperately wanting to jump on the man's lap so they could cuddle properly.

"That sounds great, as always, Erwin." Levi hissed as he shifted closer; there was no escaping the burn, at least not for another day or so. Though, that didn't stop him from raising to his knees just to embrace Erwin tighter. Quite the opposite, it reminded Levi of the neglected arousal that was awakening in him once again, causing him to grin into their kiss. "And after you take care of that, you could take care of my dick as well..." That sounded like it should have been a proposal, but it wasn't.

However, what Levi didn't see coming was the playful smack his partner brushed against his very sensitive cheek, sending yet another wave of pain through his ass. He yelped. "Uncalled for!"

Erwin smiled, unable to hold back a chuckle. "Your boldness never ceases to amaze me." the man added before resuming to their lazy display of affection. 

He'd be lying if he wasn't expecting such a request from Levi. His husband was a little minx at times.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! All feedback is greatly appreciated! 💕
> 
> Till next time ❤️


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